Moving to a new home can be an unsettling and challenging experience for any toddler. For foster toddlers who have likely already experienced disruption, adjusting to a new foster home can be especially difficult. As a foster carer, there are several things you can do to help make the transition as smooth as possible for your new foster toddler.
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Be Patient and Provide Reassurance
It’s important to remember that your foster toddler is experiencing a major life change. Separation from familiar people and surroundings is hard at any age, but toddlers in particular thrive on consistency and attachment. Be patient as your foster toddler grieves this loss. Offer plenty of affection, comfort and reassurance that you are there to care for them. Maintain regular routines around sleep and meals to provide a sense of security. Respond promptly when they seek attention and affection. Over time, they will begin to trust you and see your home as a safe space.
Facilitate Contact with Biological Family
Work closely with your foster agency such as Foster Care Associates to determine what type and frequency of contact is feasible and in the best interests of the child.
Introduce Changes Gradually
Minimise abrupt changes to the toddler’s routine in the early days of the placement. Try to find out from social workers or previous caregivers what the child is used to in terms of schedule, favourite foods, sleep habits and sources of comfort. Maintain as much consistency as you can with their familiar routines as you gradually introduce changes. Over time, blend the toddler’s previous schedule with the rhythms and lifestyle of your family.
Stick to a Regular Routine
Toddlers thrive on predictability and regular routines. Maintain consistent daily schedules around key events like waking up, mealtimes, naps, playtime and bedtime. Try to keep disruptions to their regular routine to a minimum in the initial adjustment period. Knowing what to expect each day and being able to rely on set routines will help provide stability for your foster toddler.
Use Books and Stories
Reading books together about starting at a new pre-school or making new friends can help normalise the adjustment process. It gives you a chance to have gentle, reassuring conversations about coping with change. You can let them know that it’s normal to feel unsure or sad but that things will get better.
Be Kind to Yourself Too
Remember to look after your own wellbeing too. Make sure you take occasional breaks, get support from other fostering families, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to immediately “fix” any issues. With time, patience and compassion, both you and your foster toddler will start to settle in and gain confidence.
The transition to a new foster home marks a major life change for a toddler. By taking sensitively considered steps to help them adjust at their own pace, you can greatly ease some of the stress and anxiety they may feel. Maintaining stable routines, providing affection and reassurance, facilitating contact with loved ones where appropriate, and being patient as you both find your way in this new situation will help create a nurturing environment in which your foster toddler can start to trust and thrive.
