Dealing with a persistent over-texter is something that happens to every sugar baby now and then. You meet a new sugardaddy who seems cool, funny, and worth talking to on social media or via a dating site. You decide to get to know him better, so you start texting and instant messaging back and forth. Maybe you even meet up once or twice.
Then you decide you’re just not feeling it for whatever reason and start pulling back. But for whatever reason, the other person doesn’t take the hint and follow suit. Instead, they double down on their efforts and keep messaging you in an attempt to keep that connection open.
Naturally, you don’t want to hurt the guy’s feelings, but you do want him to back off, cool it on the texting, and hopefully find someone else to focus on. Here are some tips for making that happen.
Avoid overused excuses
If you’re like most people – especially most women – your desire to people-please is pretty deeply ingrained. Women are conditioned from the time they’re little to pretend they really do want to give other people what they want, whether that’s true or not. So when they don’t want to do something, they pretend something (or someone) else simply prevented them from doing it.
When it comes to texting, the go-to excuses look a lot like:
- “My phone was dead.”
- “I didn’t have a signal.”
- “Something came up, so I forgot to reply.”
Making excuses like these might work on a guy who’s able and willing to take hints, but they’re not going to get rid of anyone truly persistent. At best, they just delay the inevitable – telling the guy outright that you don’t want to talk to him.
Be super inconsistent
Most potential sugar daddies are so persistent because that’s the kind of people they are in most aspects of their lives. They’re used to going after what they want and turning every no they’re not satisfied with into a yes.
That said, continuing to text the guy anyway in the hopes that he’ll eventually get sick of being blown off probably won’t work. But making text conversations with you a lot less rewarding sure might.
Don’t stop responding to him altogether, but do become as boring and inconsistent as possible. Let some of his texts go unanswered. Respond to others with boring, one-word answers that don’t do a thing to keep the conversation going.
Post about other guys on social media
If the sugar daddy in question is a prospective suitor who’s hoping to get a little bit of your time for himself, but you’re seeing someone else or dating other people, post about that more often on social media. Post updates about what a blast your dating life has been lately. Add pictures of you with these guys when appropriate.
Granted, this is a pretty indirect way to get a smitten would-be sugar daddy to leave you alone, but it sends the message loud and clear – especially in light of your obvious lack of interest in texting with him. It shows him you already have a rich, fulfilling love life, and that there’s no room for him in it.
Say something on social media about texting
Another subtle way to send the message that you’re tired of texting with someone when they can’t seem to take direct hints is to post something about it on social media. A short post about being tired of texting and wanting to place a greater priority on your offline, face-to-face relationships with people ought to do the job.
Just make sure you know what you’ll say if this somehow backfires. A truly persistent prospective sugar daddy might read something like that and see it as a reason to push you toward meeting up in person instead of texting, so have a backup plan in place.
Tell him outright how you feel
Sometimes when you find yourself dealing with someone genuinely obtuse, even the most pointed hints aren’t going to work, and you’ll eventually have to spell things out for the person. So if all else fails, it’s time to be ultra-direct with your over-texter and tell them in so many words that their attentions aren’t welcome.
Yes, it will likely hurt his feelings and pride, but at this point, there’s really no way he doesn’t at least suspect how you feel. Just tell him you’re not interested in continuing to text and ask that he leave you alone. And if that doesn’t do the job, either? It’s time to block him altogether.
Ultimately, absolutely no one is entitled to your time, and you get the final say in who you invest yourself in. Never let anyone guilt-trip you for setting boundaries and expecting them to be respected.